When my fiancé announced that we were going to have to get DSTV’s PVR installed into our home “to allow us both to watch the programmes that we loved”, I absolutely had to put my foot down.
Now, in a young union like ours, it was not the easiest thing to do because as we all know, men always have to prove that they are the men – decision making and all. However, this was one thing, and probably the only thing, that I was not going to allow to take root!
For those who do not know, let me first explain what PVR viewing entails. The add on the Multichoice website reads like this:
“The PVR will revolutionise the television experience and the way you watch television. The DStv PVR Decoder is a Personal Video Recorder and decoder in one. With your DStv PVR decoder you will be able to take control of your television. Some of the exciting features of the DStv PVR decoder that you can look forward to include: Record 80 hours of TV Programming, Pause live TV, Watch two channels and record a third channel at the same time, Rewind programming, Fast forward and slo-mo programming you have recorded”
So basically, including all the other features mentioned above, the PVR decoder allows you to view two separate channels on two separate TV's simultaneously, while you can record a third channel and watch it later. That means, you in one room watching Desperate Housewives, while your boyfriend, fiancé or husband is in the other room watching soccer, rugby, wrestling or formula one!
In practice this sound really great! Nobody really ever has to miss their favourite programme. However, after much thought, I discovered that, if I gave into this request, we would hardly ever see each other! Let me explain.
Due to an increasingly competitive economy and high standard of living, we are forced to spend longer hours working and fewer hours with each other. On average, daily we spend about four hours with each other during the week, and about six during some weekends. During the four hours that we spend over the week, thirty minutes is spend on trivial chats and eating in front of the television, while the three and a half remaining hours are spend watching television!
Now, this can still work for me because at least, even if we don’t really talk to each other, due to the extent and intensity of involvement required to follow a certain programme, we are in each other’s company. In addition, we are forced to negotiate who watches what, when and on which date and why?
Correct me if I am wrong but this is preciously what a couple about to be wedded should focus their energy on! Finding a common ground, making decisions that are beneficial as well as pleasant for both of them, working together! I believe its called compromise!
What does the PRV decoder do? It literality separates you from each other, leaving you little room to communicate and build on a healthy sustainable relationship, as well as discuss important issues that affect your togetherness and future together.
Some, like my fiancé, will argue and say, “but the PVR has a recording function and anything we can’t watch now, we can record and watch it later”. Right! I would like to see him recording, thereby missing, a game between Barcelona and Liverpool so that I can watch American Idols! Not in this lifetime I have learned!
I was not going to let this go without an argument. So I went a step further! Enter Marshall McLuhan! A Canadian philosopher who long time ago, sometime in the 1950’s, already predicted that the likes of television would be “destructive” to society at large.
McLuhan's theory was that a medium affects the society in which it plays a role not by the content delivered over the medium, but by the characteristics of the medium itself! In other words, his argument was that it did not really matter if television broadcasts screened children's shows or violent programming all day, the effect of television on society would be identical. “Destructive”.
Think of the television in your house? Usually it tends to occupy the center of the room or somewhere in the room at an elevated level. This then requires a family of any household to gather around the television for hours on end, not communicating and therefore leading to the disintegration of the family. He coined it “the medium is the message”.
The message is that besides watching television it is important for families, couples, and even children to find other activities that can contribute to the stimulation of their brains – like reading a book, or in my case, to the building of a healthy relationship - like talking about wedding plans!
I rest my case.
2 comments:
Marbels,that's so true, it's making my scalp tingle, and the most fascinating thing is that people still haven't realised how destructive television is. DSTV alone without it being a fancy pvr gives us so much variety that most of the time spent in front of the tv goes to channel surfing, even if there isn't a particular programme people are watching. I have to concur dual television is indeed a home wrecker. But i suppose this will go down in history as one of those feminists debates, with the aim of ruining men's lives, regardless of how true it is. Here's some advise, find one activity that you both enjoy and dedicate one day of the weekend to doing it together and engage in it religiously and then you can cut your man some slack on the last day of the weekend, he can perch himself in front of the tv, just make sure he gives you the credit card first, then every weekend will be spa weekend for you. I hope he's reading this, then he'll realise how serious this issue is. And if he refuses to give you the credit card, just ask him to paint your toe nails in the middle of a soccer match, that will teach him. Stay strong sister, Aluta continua!
Never deny your man the opportunity to be a man and watch sports on TV. Support him when he does this and he will love you to bits. Give him some snacks or beer and symphatise with him when his team losses. Or simply cook his favourite dish and he will always be happy. Also allow him time to go out with friends and enjoy a conversation without you around. He is yours and he will come back to you after these gatherings. But tell him that it is because you understand that he has to have a life without you around.
If he is not too possessive he will also allow you your space to spend time with your friends etc during some weekends. Believe me it is a dangerous tactic for a woman to try and tie a man down with all sorts small talks in a middle of a soccer game, rugby or formula one race! It’s definitely a no no! The guy is trying to concentrate on the game at that time. Over a period of time he will start running away from the house to do the same thing you were denying him to do inside his house.
As far as I am concerned, DSTV is fine. But you must put some ground rules regarding how many hours can each of you spend watching the thing and when. If you have this then you will be just fine.
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