ONCE A MONTH– I TURN INTO A MONSTER!! PMS IS REAL!!!

It was like an ahhh-haaa moment! As someone who has always rejected things I could not explain, and rarely indulged behaviors that I thought could be altered, because right is right and wrong is wrong, right?....this one really took me by surprise!

The condition in question was PMS. Pre-menstrual stress! Apparently, every woman’s nightmare! Those few couple of days or day when your usually loving and affectionate wife/girlfriend turns into a monster and a world class b**tch!

“Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) (also called PMT or premenstrual tension) is a collection of physical and emotional symptoms relatedto a woman's menstrual cycle. In particular, emotional symptoms must be present consistently to diagnose PMS. The specific emotional and physical symptoms attributable to PMS vary from woman to woman, but each individual woman's pattern of symptoms is predictable, occurs consistently during the ten days prior to menses, and vanishes either shortly before or shortly after the start of menstrual flow.

PMS can cause wild, uncontrollable mood swings in some women, who may go from crying spells to angry outbursts and anxiety attacks, then back to a stable emotional state — all in one day. “

This particular month so much was happening in life at once that I completely forgot to  pay attention to my body and my cycle, which I usually monitor like a hawk, for health purposes…and…because I am just that kind of a person!

Before I tell you my experience, I have to say this first.  I have read up on PMS many times, and I was determined to be the one woman who would not become a monster when the time came. So, usually during that period, I would be extra vigilant about my emotions, and just the way I reacted to anything. I am a control freak like that.

Recently, this one rainy Sunday morning, during one of those days that I was completely off mark about when and where I was in my cycle, I woke up…grumpy. As I usually do, I tossed around awhile and sat up. In doing so, I noticed that my husband had an extra blanket on the bed, but that the blanket only covered his part of bed!

In retrospect, I still cannot believe the rage that came over me in that moment! I yelled his name and burst out in an uncontrollable frenzy of tears! Preplexed my husband jumped out of bed, mostly with concern, but I could also see caution in his eyes wonder “what the hell did I do now?” I suspect for fear that he may fuel the fire (because I was very upset), he just sat down and kept quiet!

“You don’t care about me! Look at the blanket! Just look at the blanket! It is covering only your side of the bed! Is this how you take care of me! I have to freeze to death in my own house, and you only cover yourself!!” I sobbed, deeply engrossed in a wave of emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, confusion, depression, insecurity....ect! It felt like all of these emotions wanted to take the lead in which one was going to play itself out first!

“I knew it! I knew I should not have gotten married! I am doomed to a life of eternal loneliness and freezing! Why are you not answering me?! Oh, suddenly I am not good enough to talk to!

My husband said nothing, but looking at me like a deer in headlights! He knew better. Beside my Sagittarian tendency to exaggerate, now this too! The more he said nothing, the angrier I got!

I think at some point, I even asked myself, “what are you doing?”...but it was a fleeting thought. I think it was a brief moment during which my rationality returned, before it was bulldozed by the array of insane feelings that was rushing through me!!!

Needless to say, the accusations, and emotional outburst and crying like I had just lost the most valuable thing in my life, and extreme anger ...oh and a husband who was looking at me like I had completely lost my mind, but never said a word, lasted the whole day!  

Overcome by exhaustion and guilt later that night, I delved into an endless murmur of apology and finally sleep.

The point of this letter is to tell all women, should you be one of the women that experience this, do not feel bad, because you are not alone. PMS is real. In the same vein, PMS should also not be used as an excuse to act inappropriately, or without consideration. It is not acceptable. My advice, if at all it would be of assistance – I am telling you I was sane when these things were happening to me – is to  monitor your cycle, and be more alert to unusual feelings that creep up! See them what for what they are, and dismiss them.

To our men? If it is that time, it is that time. Really, it is not deliberate. It is not put on? Be more sensitive, and take more care. Be extra loving, sweet.....buy chocolates.....it works!!! Oh, and do not under any circumstances, overlook anything.

 Lol! It was a fair warning!